Flash Friday 16/05/2014: Scary Godmother
Everyone loved the fairy godmother in Cinderella, but nobody had actually tried living with one.
Jennifer gave a heavy sigh. When she learnt of her living arrangements with a fairy godmother, she had gotten all excited. Images of gingerbread houses and fantasy castles filled her head when she signed the forms. Unfortunately, living with Joyspring the fairy godmother was identical to living in a normal, city-standard apartment, except there was a good chance that everything would suddenly change for no reason.
Jennifer drummed her fingers on the desk. She didn’t know what to do about heartbreak. Joyspring had been buttering up a smoking-hot elf lad all week, who only just now double-crossed her for a dryad. Jennifer could still hear Joyspring’s wails and sobs coming from the room behind her. She would usually put the headphones on and listen to something loud, but that was difficult when the computer had turned into a pumpkin.
She had already checked the remainder of the house for fallout. Food was no longer an option, given that she passed her fridge as she exited her room, which was now a unicorn. The television was currently sleeping on the couch, its new cat form totally useless for watching Friends on. She couldn’t even leave the house, as both of her shoes had turned into mice and then scurried off into the darkest parts of the apartment.
Jennifer had seen a lot of breakdowns, but this one was by far the worst.
She had solace that it wouldn’t last much longer. Joyspring had been merciful enough to spare the clocks, which gave Jennifer something to stare at with annoyance. What was Cinderella’s curse, Jennifer took great pleasure in; as soon as the clock struck twelve, everything would turn back to normal. Then it was a case of moving everything back into its respective place. She had no idea where the front door had run off to. That one is going to be a bastard to find.
The phone on Jennifer’s desk began to ring.
Jennifer startled. She had no idea the phone was still intact. She had assumed it had turned into a raven and flown out of the window, like last time. Sure enough, the phone was the only things bar Jennifer’s chair and desk that managed to survive the emotion dump. Jennifer picked up the phone. It wasn’t until she felt fur against her ear that she realised it had turned into a rabbit mid pick-up.
“What the hell is wrong with you today?” Jennifer said, placing the rabbit back on the receiver and turning around.
“What ISN’T wrong with me?” Joyspring wailed from Jennifer’s door. “I’m fat, and I’m old, and nobody will take me, and–”
“Can you just not turn my stuff into animals or plants? I have to water my wardrobe in fear of it withering and dying.”
“How else am I going to take out all this emotional build-up? It’s killing me, Jennifer. I need an outlet.”
Jennifer sighed. She dug into her pocket. Thankfully, she didn’t take her wallet out of it at the end of the day, or else she’d have a much harder time catching it. She drew a few notes from it. “Look, take these. Go find yourself a nice elf strip club or something, have a few drinks, and come back when you feel better. And don’t turn any of the performers into chickens or something.”
“I help so many young lovers.” Joyspring took the notes with a shaky hand. “Giving them pumpkin carriages and fur slippers and the like.”
“I thought they were glass slippers.”
Joyspring shook her head, sniffling. “Some facts get all mixed up when passed about, I suppose.”
“Anyway, get yourself out before midnight strikes. If I have to deal with a pumpkin PC for another twenty-four hours, I might flip.”
Jennifer looked up at the clock. In the minute she had left before midnight struck, she stood from her chair, ‘helped’ Joyspring out of her room, and went to shove her out the front door. Then she remembered the front door is probably rummaging through the rubbish outside, so she just shunted her through the doorframe instead.
“I mean it,” Jennifer said. “Go out, have fun, take your mind off of things. Come back when you have happier spirits and smudged lipstick.”
Joyspring looked hurt at first. Slowly she gained a smile. “Yes. You’re right. I should take my mind off of it. Go use my wand for some…productive use.”
“That’s the spirit. And if you catch the door anywhere, send it back here.”
“Will do. See you later tonight. Or later tomorrow, if I get a catch.”
Jennifer nodded, entering the apartment again. A clock struck the first note of twelve, at which point the magical chaos reverted to its default form. It wasn’t graceful, to say the least; all the furniture that turned into flying or wall-climbing animals came back down to earth with a solid thump. Still, they were no longer trying to get out of the window, which made it an improvement.
Jennifer gave a relaxed sigh, walking back to her PC and turning it on again. There had to be an anger management class around here somewhere.