Flash Friday 24/10/2014: Lightning Delivery
When Harry opened the door, he did not expect to see a cult on the other side.
“Greetings.” The man at the forefront of the cult said. Harry decided he was the leader, despite everyone looking identical — red robes, with hoods that hid the eyes, leaving a chiselled chin the only visible part. “We are here to give you your…delivery.”
Lightning flashed over the house.
“Oh?” Harry said. “Thank goodness. If I didn’t get this replacement television in by tomorrow, my movie night would be a dud.”
The man tilted his head. “Television?”
Harry blinked. “That’s what you’re here to deliver, right? The new television I ordered?”
The man looked back at his comrades, as if wanting an answer. He did not get one. “We’re here because we had a delivery for one summoning of a demon from the Great Fyreplains.”
“Where’s the address?”
The leader pulled out a piece of paper from his hood, somehow. “It says here…’Sunnydale’.”
“Oh, Sunnydale is down the street. This is Sundale house.”
The leader stepped back to look at the house name plate. “So it is. Sorry to hear it. Well, then. Please ignore the fact that we tried to make a…delivery.”
“That’s alright. See you then.”
“Unless–!” The leader tried to get a word in as the door closed. “Unless you want something like…a small curse? Ex loved one? Horrible boss? We can sort them out. Gently, mind you. Can’t be selling the big stuff on a doorstep. Maybe an itchy arse for a week.”
“No, that’s fine.”
“Not even a little one?”
“I’m not into the occult.”
“Can’t blame you. Very well, then. It is time for us to make…our delivery.”
Harry looked up at the sky. “How come it isn’t raining yet?”
“Hm?” The leader looked up, as well. “Oh, that’s just something we do. Every time we say that word, there’s a thunder bolt.”
“What word? Delivery?”
“Oh, wow.” Harry rubbed his head. “It does it on me, too.”
“Yes, well. We only tend to say it once, and then it’s over with. Anyway, see you. We’re off to make–”
“–your d-word, yes, I know. Just stop before the neighbours get confused.”
The leader nodded, leading his herd down the street towards Sunnydale. Harry closed the door as they left, taking a deep breath of relief.
“Well,” he said to himself. “I just hope that whatever delivery they have, that it’s–”
Harry froze. He opened the door, again, looking outside. “Hello? I think you left your lightning behind.”
It was too late. The cult had already gone.
“So,” the female voice on the phone said. “That’s one large pepperoni pizza and a coke?”
“That’s right, yeah,” Harry said. “And Sundale. Not Sunnydale.”
“Okay, got it. Yeah, we can get that over to you in about a half-hour.”
“Do I have to pay any extra for the…delivery?“
Lightning boomed outside the house.
“…sir, why did you say that word as if we were delivering a corpse?”
“Sorry, it’s just…every time I say the word delivery, I–“
“I’m hearing constant thunder on your side, sir. Are you sure it’s safe for us to send someone over?”
“Yeah, it’s just…someone left their lightning over here and I still can’t find the owner.”
The woman on the phone choked on her next sentence. “Uh, happens all the time to me, sir. Is it still okay for us to make a delivery?”
“Yeah.” Harry looked out the window, horrified that it could hear phone conversations. “Yeah, make it quick, before I move out of this house.”