Flash Friday 03/04/2015: Say “Aah”
Isaac raised his hand, catching the dentist’s assistant’s attention. The young lady smiled.
“Your appointment is ready,” said the assistant.
Isaac nodded, standing from his seat in the waiting room and following her down a hallway with doors on either side.
“Were you waiting long?” said the assistant.
“Oh, no, no. Just…ten minutes or so. Nothing, really.”
“That’s a relief. We’ve been going a little over time recently. Some…troublesome patients. I hope you understand.”
“Really? Troublesome like what, exactly?”
“Oh, you know. Trying to muffle the murderous screams of the patient during the operation. It can really bug the neighbours, you know?”
Isaac frowned. “Yes, I, uh, I can see that being a problem.”
“Here we are.” The assistant opened one of the doors down the hallway and entered. “If you could just take your place and wait for Gregor to tend to you, thank you.”
“Not a problem,” said Isaac. He stepped into the dentist room and immediately felt something was very off.
He wasn’t sure about the finer elements of dentistry. His knowledge of teeth went as far as using them to eat chocolates. He was pretty sure, however, that dentists didn’t usually have the lights off, or that they solely used red candles on gothic stands around the room, or that they burnt incense that smelt strong enough to cover the scent of corpses, which it probably was. He was also pretty sure that dentist seats were not usually stone slabs with a pentagram on it, marked with a red mixture that he wasn’t keen on learning the origin of.
“Aah,” came a gravelly voice from the right side of the room. A large man was hunched over a counter, preparing items on it. “Yes, lie down on the table, and I’ll get right to you.”
Isaac did what he was told. He was worried that asking for a better chair would move him up the payment tiers.
The assistant stood beside the madman, the only sane element in the room. “Would you need any assistance, Gregor?”
Gregor grunted. “Not now. Go prepare the cleaning mixture. The one that gets blood out.”
“Right away, sir.”
Isaac frowned. He never was good at handling dental operations. Something about operating within his mouth rubbed him the wrong way.
“So.” Gregor picked up a large butcher’s knife from the counter, observing it. “How are we feeling?”
“Good, good,” Isaac nodded to himself. “Feeling fine.”
“Anything to report? Have you been bleeding well, as of late?”
Isaac sucked air through his teeth. “The back molars, I’m afraid.”
Gregor’s eyes lit up. “Oh, that is news.”
“I know, I know. They always tell me to floss, but it’s hard to get it that far back, you know?”
“Understandable.” Gregor placed the butcher’s knife aside, turning his attention to a chainsaw. “Have you been drinking wine daily?”
Isaac whistled. “You guys are getting better at this. You haven’t even opened me up, and you could tell that.”
Gregor gave a grainy chuckle. “You get to know these things after a while. Who’s name do you drink it in?”
Gregor nodded. “Here’s a tip; try drinking it in the name of the Blood Lord and Flesh Flayer Alla’Kiish of the Seventh Circle. It makes this process go all the more faster.”
“Does it now?” Isaac mused. He truly didn’t know how dentistry worked.
Gregor placed the chainsaw down, then picked up a simple carving knife. He nodded. “Alright, this will do. Let’s get this over with, shall we? Close your eyes, now.”
Isaac did so.
Gregor turned around, lumbering towards the prone Isaac with knife in hand. “Open your mouth, nice and wide.”
Isaac followed instruction.
“Right, then.” Placing both hands on the handle of the knife, Gregor drew it over his head. “Say, ‘I sacrifice my life in the name of the Dark Lord’!”
Isaac went to speak, stopped, then frowned. “I thought I was supposed to say ‘AaaaAAAHHHHH!'”
Both Gregor and Isaac were frozen; Gregor in mid-plunge towards Isaac’s heart, and Isaac with his hands in a surrender pose. Both of them exchanged tense looks.
Without moving, Gregor asked, “Isaac?”
Isaac shook his head. “Isaac Peters. Dentist routine check.”
“You sure you’re not Isaac Jones, willing volunteer to be sacrificed to the Dark Lord for eternal favour and servitude to The Powers Above?”
Isaac pondered. “I think I’d remember something like that.”
“Oh.” Gregor withdrew the knife. “Well, sorry about that. Tend to get all excited.”
“It’s alright,” lied Isaac, as Gregor retreated back to the bench. “So what room is the actual dentist in?”
“Oh, no need to move.” Gregor turned back, complete with mouth mask and dentist drill in hand. “Just requires a little change of outfit. Now, show me those pearly whites of yours.”
Isaac groaned as the drill span up into a whine. He really should brush his teeth more often.