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Flash Friday 11/09/2015: A Fitting Place

September 11, 2015

“Kneel, Lady Alexandria,” the goddess Cyrene spoke.

The lady in front of the goddess’ ethereal figure knelt.

“As Goddess of Justice, I recognise your efforts in slaying the foul netherworld demons that plague our lands. As such, I have decided to bestow upon you a relic of your choosing to further aid your battles.”

“I am not worthy of your gifts,” Lady Alexandria spoke.

“Your polite acts of humility are appreciated, but unnecessary. I know of what you seek; the holy armour of Lady Anna, the grand crusader whose steel could blind all foes within an instant.”

“That is correct. If I could have such a powerful tool on my side, then I will surely be even more useful to the cause.”

“Very well. Then I bestow upon thee, my holy warrior, Lady Anna’s Armour of Light.”

A bright flash appeared in front of Lady Alexandria, causing her to squint. In front of her lay a chestpiece that wasn’t there before. It was a brilliant silver, to the point where she could see herself within its reflection. She picked up the armour and placed it over her body, then reached around to to tighten the straps. Midway through tightening, she suddenly stopped, her face flushing red.

Cyrene tilted her head. “Is something the matter, Lady Alexandria?”

“Uhm…you see, Cyrene, I am very grateful for your gift, and I am pleased that you feel that I deserve such treasures, but…”

“Yes?”

“Do you…perhaps have Lady Anna’s Armour of Light in a size bigger?”

Cyrene scratched her head. “I believe Lady Anna only came in one size. I thought this would suit you perfectly.”

“A lot of people think that I’m a medium, but they never fit me. I have to go for a large size.”

“Is that so? Hold on a tick, let me check something.”

The armour vanished. Cyrene made a book spontaneously appear out of the nothing in front of herself, then began to flick through it. “I have a large-size Blessed Warrior’s Chestplate in stock at the moment. Its enchantment allows you to detect evil.”

“I don’t think I’d need that, to be honest. I don’t need to check if hellspawn are evil.”

“True, true. There is, however, some armour in here that repels those with evil intentions, which might come in handy. Ah! But only Small and XXL sizes are in stock. Must be very popular. Here’s a good one — Stoneward’s Protector. When touched by evil beings, it ignites them.”

“That does sound good. What are the colour options? Does it come in silver?”

“Nope. But you can get it in black. I think the colour would bring out your figure very well. You have the right shape for it.”

“Black? With silver legplates?”

Cyrene took a sharp intake of air. “Good point. Can’t have you saving the world looking like you picked out your armour blindfolded. How about…” Cyrene conjured up another piece of armour, held it against Lady Alexandria, then made it vanish again before she could even react. “No, no. We need something that accentuates the shoulders a bit more, really makes them stand out. You know what, I’m going to have to call up some of my sisters. I’m sure they have some relics lying about that will be your size. Do you mind?”

“Not at all. I can wait.”

***

Outside of the Temple of Cyrene, two men were leaning against the wall either side of the entrance — David the human, and Falbur the halfling. They shuffled awkwardly in their spots, sharing an annoyed and slightly agitated silence with one another. Finally, the human said, “How long did she say she’d be?”

Falbur shrugged. “I don’t think she said. Just that she was going to pick up a piece of armour, and that’s it.”

David nodded. Then, after another short silence, “Does it take long to get armour from a goddess?”

“Hell if I know. Might be some sort of ritual or special dance that Lady Alexandria has to do before she gets it. I’ve never done this stuff, I’m not exactly the religious sort.”

“Right, I suppose you wouldn’t know that sort of thing.”

Another silence.

“Do you think I could peek in?”

Falbur’s eyes widened. “Are you mad? Of course not.”

“It won’t be much. Just a quick peek in. If I don’t make any noise, they won’t know I’m even watching.”

“You’re going to do it no matter what I say, aren’t you?”

But he was too late. David had already begun to creep the door open, peering through the crack into the temple.

Lady Alexandria was standing in the middle of it, holding up two armoured chestplates. As she spoke, she alternated between holding each one up against her body. “So how about I wear the Angel’s Guard during battles, and the Dragonscale during formal occasions? Do you think they’d go well with sky blue?”

Unfortunately, as David pushed the door a little more, it let loose a small creak. David hoped it was quiet enough to go unnoticed, the hopes of which were dashed the moment Lady Alexandria’s head turned to face him. Her face fell from horrified shock to pure anger in a flash.

David had only split-seconds to slam the door shut to block the helmet that was thrown his way. Even though he was fast enough to stop it, it didn’t stop the spike on top of the helmet bursting through the door, its pointed tip a hair’s width away from piercing his nose.

“Erm,” David said, his eyes fixated on the point. “Give her thirty more minutes, I think.”

937 words

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6 Comments
  1. That was both awesome and adorable. I LOVED IT!

  2. LOL! That was too funny. I’ve never thought about the process to be a goddess’ champion. Oh the drudgery of picking just the right armor.

    • And the worst part is, mail orders haven’t been invented yet!

      Thanks for stopping by, Connie 🙂

  3. LOL Clever! Never thought there’d be such difficulty in finding the right size armor!

  4. Silver and black, I like that combo. This reminded me of the trouble of putting together armor sets in a game. Cause you know the set is no good if there are pieces that are garish. You have to switch them out for the better looking pieces from your old sets all the time. And the the trouble of carrying all that around…

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