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Flash Friday 21/10/2016: Bite Night

October 21, 2016

Olsav wasn’t sure how long he had slept in the crypt, but it had to have been at least hundreds of years.

Despite sleeping for centuries, he was still as prim and proper as the day he went under. Being a vampire had its perks; if you made several mortal enemies, you simply settled down in a quiet spot and fell asleep until they and their children were long dead and forgotten. By the looks of the world around him, there were no more vampire hunters keen to bloody their stakes. They must have forgotten about vampires.


He had been prowling this neighbourhood, searching for a household with someone still awake at this hour. He never liked to bite the asleep or unaware. You always have to look your prey in the eye.

One large house had nearly every light on. From inside, the sound of heavy music and laughter came. The entire house was dotted with symbols of bats, pumpkins with faces, and skeletons.

Yes, this will do nicely.


Craig staggered out of the main room, making his way down the corridor by rebounding off each wall in turn, a red plastic cup in hand. He originally arrived as a mummy, with every inch of his body covered in bandage. This far into the party, most of it had fallen off, giving the appearance of someone who had a nasty accident in a toilet roll factory.

Pounding music gave him headaches, as did alcohol. The pair always meant he felt like he was going through brain surgery without anaesthetic.

Still, he wasn’t having a bad time. In fact, as he pinballed his way towards a quieter place, all he could think about was how this was the best Halloween party he ever had, even though his head hated everything, and his kidneys grumbled about the surprise overtime shift.

He found a closed door furthest away from the party. Stairs were currently a swimming, blurry obstacle that would have probably ended in something broken, either his bones or the household furniture. This will do.

He opened the door and was welcomed to darkness, a cool chill, and, most of all, quiet. He staggered into the room and flailed a hand at the light switch until it turned on.

It was a study, with books lining the walls. They were countless, due to the sheer number and the fact they were all slightly spinning in Craig’s vision. There was only one desk and one chair. The chair was occupied by a man in a dark black cloak.

“Ah,” The man said, smiling. “A pleasure to meet you. I thought someone would come here, eventually. I am Olsav, and for hundreds of years I have rested. Now, you shall be the first of many who will fall to the reign of the night I will bring down upon this unsuspecting world.”

Olsav expected fear, desperation, perhaps even anger. What he instead got from Craig was a goofy smile. “You look incredible,” Craig said, his voice revealing he was greatly impressed. “Where’d you get the fangs?”

“‘Get’? I got these from when I was bitten, back in the sixteenth century. A mortal I was, of great ambition and dream, until one day, my humanity was cruelly stripped away from me by a creature of the-ungh!”

As hard as Craig pulled on the fang he managed to get a grip on, the teeth weren’t budging. “Blimey,” he said, even more impressed than before. “They’re real.”

Yes, if you had let me finish my story, you would have learnt that. But it doesn’t matter. For soon you shall experience first-hand how authentic they are.” Olsav rose from his feet. “You see, I am ever so thirsty.”

“Oh? Feeling parched, are you?”

“Yes, yes,” Olsav said, slowly approaching Craig. “I haven’t had a drink in…ages.”

Craig pointed with a thumb to the door. “We could easily fix that.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Olsav said, now very close to Craig, who was still beaming his goofy smile. “I’ll just fix this little problem…right here.

It should have been a clean bite. Instead, as Olsav bared his fangs and dove in to take his prey, he found himself blocked off from his target by the red cup Craig held up toward Olsav.

“Fancy a drink, then?” Craig said.

Olsav froze mid-bare, looking at the cup in confusion. “A drink?”

“Yeah. They’re pouring this stuff like it were water. I thought I had it in me for a sixth, but as soon as I got the cup to my lips, I knew I’d paint the walls green if I had it. So you can have it instead.”

“Is it…blood?

Craig peered into his cup, double checking. “Nope,” he said. “Not since I last checked.”

“Then it is of no use to me. Except…well, it has been so long since I’ve had a good stiff drink.”

“Really? They’ll love you back in the party room, then. Lightweights always go down a treat.”

“Do you mind if I…?”

“Take it.”

Olsav took the red cup with a hesitant grab. “As soon as I’m finished with this, though,” he said. “You’re next.”

Then he drank the lot in one go.

He smacked his lips, blinked to himself, then nodded with approval. “Giving it out like it were water, did you say?” he said.


Nobody knew who the man in the awesome vampire costume was. Nobody really minded, either. Everyone was so smashed, they accepted him like a brother they never had. He seemed great, too. Drunkenly telling stories and chugging entire barrels in one go.

Nobody remembered his name, or if he had any relation to the break-in at the blood bank, where several tubes went missing and a drunkenly-scrawled note reading ‘Heard there were more drinks here. It’s happy hour, somewhere. ~Olsav’ was left on a desk. Despite that, to those who could still recall it the next morning, it was a party they’d never forget.

999 words

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  1. Gideon permalink

    Creative, hilarious and short-as usual. I love this piece

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